Building Your Postpartum Support Circle
You’ve probably heard the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” But no one seems to talk about how to intentionally find and build that circle.
Whether you're expecting your first baby or preparing to welcome your third, your support circle matters. And no, this doesn’t mean you need a dozen best friends or a fleet of family members on call. It means identifying the people, tools, and resources that will truly support you in this new season.
Step 1: Know What You Need
Every parent is different. Some crave company; others want quiet. Some need meals delivered; others need help folding laundry or just someone to hold the baby while they shower.
Ask yourself:
What parts of daily life feel hardest when you’re sleep-deprived or emotionally overwhelmed?
When I imagine postpartum support, what makes me feel safe and relieved?
What kind of help has felt good in the past? What hasn’t?
You don’t need to know all the answers right now—but tuning into your own preferences is the first step in building a circle that actually works for you.
Here is a list of the most common areas that postpartum families need support:
Meal Prep & Cooking
Cleaning & Laundry
Emotional Support
Baby Care
Sleep + Nap Support
Baby Feeding Support
Sibling + Pet support
Step 2: Map Your People (and Be Real About It)
Who’s in your life—and what are they actually able or willing to offer?
Think about:
Emotional support: Who listens well and makes you feel seen?
Practical help: Who would happily drop off a meal, run errands, or tidy your kitchen?
Hands-on baby care: Who do you trust to hold or care for your baby?
Boundary respecters: Who shows up with kindness and knows when to give space?
And here's the hard part: there might be people you want to lean on but can’t—for logistical, emotional, or boundary reasons. That’s okay. This isn’t about guilt; it’s about clarity. These people may be able to help you with more guard rails to protect you, it just depends on the family!
Step 3: Assign Roles (Loosely!)
You don’t need to create a spreadsheet (unless you love spreadsheets, if so here is a link to my planning template!), but it helps to think about what kind of help different people are best suited to.
Some examples:
Your friend who shows up with snacks and zero judgment = postpartum MVP
Your cousin who works in healthcare = your “text for weird baby rashes” person
Your neighbor who walks her dog every morning = could she walk yours too or be your walking buddy?
You can also brainstorm by thinking about how they naturally show love—and what kind of help might feel easiest and best for them to offer.
Examples:
“My sister → Acts of Service → Meal prep or laundry drops”
“My work friend → Words of Affirmation → Daily texts or voice notes”
Step 4: Fill the Gaps
If you don’t have certain types of support in your personal circle, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck.
Look to:
Postpartum doulas (like me!) for in-home or virtual support (we can help you organize your circle too)
Meal trains (GiveInKind.com is my fav tool for this!).
Peer support groups like our Wednesday Walk + Talks (join us if you're local!)
Therapists, lactation consultants, or others for professional support.
You should not be doing it all alone. You were never meant to.
Step 5: Set Expectations Early + Clearly
It can feel awkward to ask for help or set boundaries—especially with loved ones who mean well but miss the mark. One of the kindest things you can do for yourself and your people is to be clear and share your expectations early.
Try phrases like:
“We’d love short visits in the first few weeks—30 minutes or less is perfect.”
“If you’re coming by, would you mind tossing in a load of laundry while you’re here?”
“We’re not up for visitors right now, but we’d love a text to check in or a meal dropped off.”
Your Circle, Your Rules
There’s no one right way to build your postpartum support circle—only what’s right for you. The key is being intentional. The right people and resources can help you feel held, not just as a parent, but as a whole person navigating a huge transition.
And if you’re not sure where to begin, or you need help filling the gaps, I’m here. This is what I do! If you are looking for more questions to help you plan your postpartum check out my Postpartum Plan Workbook
This post was shaped with help from AI as a brainstorming and drafting partner—but every word was reviewed, revised, and made personal by me. I believe in using tools that can support you when you're wearing all the hats.
